Monday, 15 April 2013

I want to have your babies

*Present day*

Eden walked into the visitor centre with a noticeable air about him. He was angry. I stood to give him a hug and then he took a seat beside me. He was complaining that he didn't have time to finish his shower and brush his teeth because he had to get three different guys to cut his hair after the first one stuffed it up. I laughed at his vanity.

"Stop being a sook!" I nudged him in an attempt to loosen him up. It worked.

This correctional centre was different. On each table was a laminated A4 page with guidelines for inmates and visitors. I had read it while waiting for Eden, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Eden picked it up and started reading. A sentence a few lines down the page jumped out at him.

"Inmates may hug and kiss their visitors on arrival and departure, but there is to be no other physical contact for the duration of the visit. You better behave yourself or I'll kiss you and they'll end your visit!" He joked.

"I'll take it, I'll take what I can get" I replied. We laughed.

"I can't believe you came all the way here!" He smiled. "How was the drive?"

We chatted about the drive, the motel, the town. I told him what I'd gotten up to since I'd seen him last. These visits were getting easier, the conversation flowed and there were no awkward silences. We sat close together, our legs touching under the table. As usual, it didn't take long for the conversation to lead into a discussion about 'us'.

Eden was telling me about a female guard who may just have a thing for him, and how he could use this to his advantage. I made a joke about his ability to turn on the charm to get women to do things for him, and suddenly his tone changed and he looked like a wounded puppy.

"Don't say that. You said something like that before..."
"I know exactly what I said." I interrupted.
He was referring to the statement I made about him having me around because he knows I'll do anything for him.
"But how can I not feel that way? How can I not be paranoid? I have no idea what's going on in there!" I tapped his forehead as I spoke.

"I have no idea what's going on in there either. You don't understand what it's like in here..." He tried to explain. I felt like I'd heard it all before, so again, I interrupted...

"You think I haven't thought about the fact that your feelings are probably amplified by these four walls? That you'll get out and discover all of the other fish in the sea? I have a feeling you're going to walk out of this jail and break my goddamn heart!"

"I don't want to..." He said softly.

"I didn't want to have this conversation today. I came without questions or intentions..." I wasn't lying, I really just didn't feel like doing this dance.

"I know. We have to talk about it sometime though." Was his reply.

"Look, to me, it's simple. There's either something between us, or there isn't! It's that easy. So for now, can you just enjoy the pleasure of my company?" I smiled a cheeky smile.

"I am. I do. I really do." And just like that we moved on.

We started talking about age and how time was passing us by. It was a conversation we had frequently, brought on by the number of years since we parted company. So much had changed since then. Eden mentioned how we was feeling a bit down about the fact that he always wanted children, that he wanted to be a young Dad and that he only had one biological child of his own.

"I've just... always wanted a son... you know?"

I nodded as I listened, but I could hardly speak. I offered a few encouraging words about him having time up his sleeve, but it was the best I could offer. You see, only the week prior, I'd been wondering whether or not Eden wanted more children. I didn't feel like I could ask him this, and I was afraid that if his answer was no, I'd have some serious thinking to do.

Before long visiting time was over. We stood and he kissed me on the cheek before pulling me into his arms. We hugged for a few minutes.

"You smell good." I said, lightly pressing my lips to his neck.

I stepped back and he came toward me again, kissing me on the cheek for a second time.
"Drive carefully, I'll call you to make sure you get home ok." And with that he left.

The following day the whole reproduction thing was playing on my mind, so when he called me, I couldn't help but share my thoughts. I told him how I too had been thinking about children but I was afraid to tell him. I told him that so often he brings up things that are on my mind because he and I are so in tune.

I had carefully thought out what I would say. But as soon as I started talking the words came flying out of my mouth and I'm certain it sounded more like:


Carpe diem I guess.


  1. Oh bless. Of course you want to have his babies, gosh I almost want to have his babies and I don't even know Eden. You certainly make him sound like a wonderful man, despite where he is right now.

    Swinging by as part of #teamIBOT and leaving some fairy wishes and butterfly kisses

  2. I think honesty is ALWAYS the best measure! Me x!

  3. The cry on the lips of so many women ... Very intriguing story, thank you.

  4. Replies
    1. He laughed (because I was being a little crazy) and said
      "I really don't know what to say to that!" and I asked him not to say anything.


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