Hi, I'm Eve.
From the outside, I have it all. My loving husband Adam, gorgeous children, a beautiful home... I drive a nice car, I have a great job. Life appears easy, nice, carefree...
This isn't what I ever pictured for myself. This wasn't supposed to be my destiny. But I've continued to mould myself to be this person, this ideal, and I've done such a great job of it that I'm petrified of ever going back. And it's not so much that I don't want it to change, it's that I'm afraid of what the rest of the world will think.
And then there's Eden, my forbidden fruit. He, who I can't seem to get out of my system.
Now I can feel it slipping through my fingers. It's not being taken away from me, I'm on this path of self destruction. I'm wondering why I've bothered all of these years. I'm wondering how I ever got to be like this. Can I spend the rest of my life feeling this way?
I thought it might be cathartic to write it out. I guess you could say this space is an exercise in self-exploration. I'm going to tell you my story, and it's going to hurt like hell. But I can't talk about it anywhere else. I don't think I could handle the judgement and the criticism, and mostly, the look of disappointment.
I feel like there's so much buried within me that I could spontaneously combust at any minute. Does anyone have a fire extinguisher?
*Adam, my husband. He's a gentle, quiet, caring man. Very level headed, not much of a communicator.
*Eden, my poisoned apple. He has a big heart, but you'd be forgiven for not seeing it. He's rough around the edges but he's a talker, and he takes care of his own. And I just can't get enough of him.
The truth may shock you but please understand, I'm not a bad person. Just a girl, with a heart... and apparently not much of a brain...
Strap yourself in, it's a bit of a bumpy ride.