Tuesday, 19 February 2013

13. Secretville is a lonely place

*Present day*

This whole 'keeping secrets' thing is quite a lonely business. But there are some things that are too hard to share. Too hard because you're afraid of judgement, you're afraid that people just won't understand. Or maybe, you're afraid that they're right.

Eden was sentenced to 9 months in prison. NINE MONTHS...

He didn't speak to me on the day of his court case and it broke my heart. The instant he pulls away from me I'm like a greyhound on a rabbit, I run after him as fast as I can... I respected that he had a lot on his plate that day, but now that it was over there was no holding back.

As I drove to the Correctional Centre to visit him, my mind was racing. Not a single person knew where I was. What was I doing? He probably didn't even want to see me after the letter I'd sent him. Who does that? Who writes a heartfelt love letter about a stupid fairytale romance and then follows it up with a prison visit?

I was told to arrive half an hour early to allow for processing. I looked at the time as I parked, 9:45am, exactly half an hour before my visit. I was petrified, for several reasons. 
  1. I'd never visited a Correctional Centre before, I had no idea what to expect
  2. There was a crowd of other visitors there, rough looking people
  3. I had no idea if Eden would want to see me or not
I waited at the counter for instructions. After a few minutes I was told to head around the corner and fill out a visitors slip. On my way I discovered a bathroom and realised I needed to go, so I quickly ducked in. There were girls at the sink with their make up and hair straighteners, trying to make themselves perfect for their partners. They were obviously accustomed to jail visits, and this made me uncomfortable. I'm ashamed to say that I judged them. I'm not one of you

I picked up the visitors slip only to realise that it needed Eden's identification number as well as my own. Both of the numbers were written in my journal. My journal was in the car. I ran out to my car, it was now raining. I ripped the page out, grabbed my umbrella and walked back inside. Finally I completed the visitors slip and dropped it in the tray. After a while I heard them call out Eden's surname, but it took a few minutes to realise they were referring to me. At the counter I was asked for photo ID, then they finger printed me, took a retina scan, and finally a photo. I felt incredibly intimidated. I was trying to hide the fact that I was shaking like a leaf.

The old guy behind the counter was very accommodating, he explained how the lockers worked, telling me that I had to leave ALL of my things in there because the only thing I was allowed to carry into the visitor centre was change for the vending machine. As I put my things in the locker, I realised there was no way my umbrella would fit.

"Don't think I'll get the umbrella in there!" I joked to the girl next to me.
"Oh no, you can't leave it, it'll get stolen, I learnt that lesson the hard way!" she replied.

I looked around and saw a baby change room, so I hid my umbrella in there.

Then I had to wait again. And wait. And wait some more. I didn't understand what was going on, other people were being ushered in and yet I had to sit and wait. Finally, they called me.

I was briefly scanned, searched and questioned before being let into a holding room. Once in the holding room, I had to be identified again via fingerprint scan. It was all starting to feel like too much, I was wondering if it was worth it. But there was no turning back now.

Finally the door opened and I was led across an open courtyard to another door, about 150m away. Once inside the next door, I had to wait AGAIN. When my name was called they scanned my fingerprint AGAIN before asking if I would prefer inside or outside.
"I have no idea." I replied flatly. 

To the right was an indoor/outdoor visitor area that looked very relaxed. The inmates were dressed in green, they laughed and played with their guests. To the left was another area that looked more institutionalised. The inmates were all dressed in white jumpsuits. They were more serious, more closely monitored. To my surprise, I was told this was where I was going. 

I walked to the door, now absolutely terrified. I looked up to see Eden across the room, he was behind a door that was guarded by security, he smiled when he saw me, and I instantly felt relieved. I was safe now.  Once the security guard on my side let me through, the guard on Eden's side opened the door and he came towards me. He grabbed me in his arms and held me close.

To be continued...

Continued now, I just finished it! Here!


  1. You have me hooked! I have never visited anyone in prison, I would be petrified aswell.


  2. O.M.G. I can't believe you left that post hanging with a To be Continued! You write so well I actually felt like I was there in that room. Since this is the first time I've visited your blog I'll now have a busy couple of nights reading up on your previous posts to try and get the context for this one. Love your work, Rach xxx

    1. Thank you so much, what a lovely thing to say. Part two is up now. I hope you like it. x

  3. Eeeeeee! Leave me hanging! Oh my, you're writing is fabulous.. I felt like I was there. Yup, need to go read the back story on this one too!

    Loz x

    1. Thank you Loz, I really appreciate the compliment. x

  4. Oh man I totally hate waiting - I always skip on dvds I watch! xx

    1. Sorry Emily, it was a long story and I didn't get it finished in time. It's up now though!

  5. Excellent writing! Can't wait to read the follow up. Great cliffhanger!

  6. What? You can't do that to me. I wanna know what happens next!! You really had me. Well done.

    1. Thank you Bachelor Mum. I hope you enjoy part 2!

  7. I think anyone locked up is eager for visitors regardless of the state of their relationship.


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