Thursday, 28 February 2013

Enter Michael, the Archangel

*Present day*

Like Clarke Kent or Peter Parker, I seem to have developed a secret identity. On the surface, I'm a hard working wife and mother, but behind the scenes I'm... something... to a prison inmate. I haven't yet quite figured out what I am to Eden, or what Eden is to me, and I don't think I will know until he's released.

It's been surprisingly easy, I'm shocked at my ability to hide the evidence, to lead two lives. But I am a communicator, I like to talk things out, and the lack of talking has resulted in a plethora of thoughts invading my mind. It's difficult to focus on anything else with so many questions flying left and right, knowing that only time will reveal the answers. 

When you've been with someone so long it can be difficult to talk to others about your relationship, everyone knows you as one half of a couple, rather than as an individual. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to choose a side, I don't want to impart the responsibility of my secrets onto a mutual friend or a family member. This is my burden, and mine alone. 

Michael the Archangel swooped down from the clouds, taking me by surprise. Humorous, intelligent and easy to talk to, Michael is like a more sensitive version of Han Solo. An impartial party, completely objective because of the fact that he doesn't know Adam or Eden (in fact he hardly knows me), he has quickly become my confidante, my counsellor. We've only met in person once and already I've revealed my secret identity, and although this makes me feel incredibly vulnerable, I'm also feeling relieved. Michael's unbiased point of view and thought provoking comments are helping me find clarity. Michael need only to ask me how I am and I'll completely divulge my truths, eager to hear his wise words. But at what cost?

I can't help but fear that I'm adding another dimension to the saga that is my life. Could my act of opening up to someone who is practically a stranger, and a married man at that, be just another step in my downward spiral? What is it that makes someone turn to an online friend before turning to a real life one?

But the strangest thing of all is my imagination. Whilst I'm prepared to accept that Eden, on his fifth stint in prison, is a sweet, loving and perfectly safe man, a small part of me has toyed with the idea that Michael is possibly a deranged serial killer who hunts down vulnerable young women on the internet, taking his time to woo them with his witticisms and charm, perhaps seeking to secure an invitation to discuss my troubles over wine, at which point he'll cut me up into small pieces and dispose of my body bit by bit across the west Australian coast line...

Or perhaps he's just a nice guy...


  1. Until you tell your husband, you are lying to everyone including yourself. You might find out that the choice you think you have isn't yours to make. Do the right thing, try honestly instead of priding yourself on your ability to sneak around. I hope it helps talking it out with a friend.

  2. Oh. I'm confused. I thought this was fiction??? Anyway, I'm assuming it's fiction so can I say....oh dear, oh dear, I see blackmail on the horizon!

  3. I am with Lydia, I struggle to remember this is your life. It reads like some wonderful piece of fiction that I can't put down. (Sly way of asking you to hurry up and write some more lol I am sure you could do some more flashback stuff...)
    Enjoy your visit with Eden, fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely

  4. Agreed - reading this is MUCH better than 50 shades of anything! I must admit I've never been quite sure if this is fact or fiction or a little bit of both, but I think that intrigue is part of the appeal. Eve likes to keep us guessing and that's fine with me ;)Either way it's a fantastically decadent read, Rach xxx

  5. It's good you have someone to talk all this through with. It's a big thing and I'd hate you to lose something so great when you don't even know what you'll be getting instead. I am living vicariously through you when I read these updates :)

  6. I really hope Michael does not cut you up into little pieces. That would not be cool

  7. Great writing whether it is fiction or not. Sounds like dangerous territory though. Just be safe whatever you do. V.

  8. Hmmm...there is the thrill of nurturing a relationship in secrecy and then there's plain danger. I'm with Jess and V - be safe whatever you do.


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