Sunday 10 February 2013

6. We Didn't Do IT

*Present Day*

The morning after our reunion, I heard from Eden first thing. The text simply said
BOUNDARIES
Referring to our conversation about being friends without benefits. Deep down I was scared. I saw the path we were heading down. But the fear was clouded by the excitement. The thrill. The lust.

We were back and forth all day. It got more and more risque with each text. I guess he was right, old habits were hard to break, and we had no idea how to be anything but hot for each other. We mostly talked about things we wouldn't do, turning it into a joke. We wouldn't have sex in cars because I didn't want to have to sell another one, and because we were old now, and it would just be trashy. It was just a bit of harmless fun, right?

I was under a bit of stress at work, and if there was one thing Eden was good at, it was making me forget my troubles. So when I heard from him again the following morning, without even thinking I replied
Can I see you today?

I worked for a few hours until I just couldn't focus any more. Then I drove to Eden's. He was waiting out the front for me. A quick kiss on the cheek and we were on our way upstairs. He was incredibly hungover, and when we entered his apartment he collapsed on the lounge, laid back, leaving me a small space at the end to sit. I sat down and he slid his leg under mine, so my knees were now hanging over his horizontal shin.

It's funny how you can feel so comfortable being so close to someone you haven't seen for so long. We sat like that for an hour, just talking. We talked about us, again... this is what I always loved about him, we could just talk, he wore his heart on his sleeve. He continually referred to the day I left him and broke his heart, and I asked him

"Why didn't you fight for me?"
To which he calmly responded
"Because you're married, Eve."

I had to turn my head away from him. The statement hit me hard and cold and knocked me into reality. I felt like I was about to burst into tears. There were a few moments of silence, but we simply started talking again. Then I realised that my hand was on his thigh. It was so comfortable there, it felt right. It felt good. I apologised, but I couldn't stop. I was tracing one of his tattoos with my fingertips. It was like it was magnetic.

He knew I was holding back and asked what was on my mind. I told him I needed to bite my tongue. We did this verbal dance for about half an hour before he grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. At first it wasn't sexual at all, at first it was just a big, warm hug. His head was buried in my hair, and mine in his neck. As we held on tight, he whispered in my ear
"Wow, this has taken me back 8 years..."

I softly pressed my lips to his neck. He gently slid his hand up the back of my thigh, until he reached my underwear. We paused. What are we doing? What are we doing? 
What are we doing?

He let go and laid back on the lounge. I watched him, and remembered how he used to do this. He used to give just enough to make me want him, and then sit back and let me do the rest. And I fell for it. I climbed on top of him and wrapped my arms around him, continuing the hug. We held each other close and I buried my face into his neck again, as his hands slowly made their way back to my underwear. I kissed his neck and sat up, straddling him.

"I hate you Eden."
"No you don't."
"Yes, I DO!"

With that I leaned forward and grabbed his face, kissing him while he caressed my arse.

"We will not have sex today!"
I declared as my mouth opened around his.
"Nope." He replied as his tongue found mine.

We stopped. I sighed.

"What are we doing? I hate you. We're not having sex."
And then we kissed again, while he pressed my hips into his.

"It feels just the same. Do you think it feels so good because it's naughty or just because it's good?" I asked him.
He laughed, then he responded, "It's not so easy to take that next step any more though..."
I fell back to his chest, he squeezed my arse as my lips found his again.

"I'm expecting a delivery, I have to check the letterbox." He said.
"I have to go to work." I jumped up and walked over to my bag.
Eden walked up behind me and slid his hands around my waist, pressing himself into me. I spun around and let him push me up against the table as I grabbed his face and kissed him hard and fast.

We stopped again and walked out the door, heading for the lift.
"In the elevator?" He joked as we stepped in.
"For sure!" I said, grabbing him again.

As we approached the exit to the apartment block he turned to kiss me goodbye.
"I can't kiss you outside." He said.
We shared our last kiss and stepped out into the sunlight.

I quickly darted ahead, afraid that if I didn't get in my car then I wouldn't leave at all. He laughed at me, I love it when he laughs at me,
"Oh yeah, can't get out of here quick enough now hey?" he joked.

Who am I? 
What am I doing?
He always turns me into this person, I just don't know how.

As I stepped into my car I called out,
"Hey! We did it! We didn't DO IT! Yay!"
We laughed. And then I drove off.


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